We’ve all gone through the early stages of dating and getting to know someone new, but it’s not always easy to know the best way to decide whether this guy or gal is someone you should invest your time in. That is where my 5 step check list comes into play. It may not help weed out all of those who aren’t worth your time, but it may help save you a lot of it or encourage you to put a bit more effort in before throwing in the towel too soon.
1. First things first, Feel them out. Listen to your intuition/gut feeling. NEVER ignore that first feeling. If something comes up as a red flag/warning (reasonably) listen to it. However, try not to infer something that is not there. You don’t want to make that mistake either! Try to hone in on your true feelings, mixed with a natural flow, to guide you.
2. Set Intentions! Figure out what your intentions are for this new potential boo and be vocal about them. Also be sure to ask them about their intentions so that you can figure out if y’all are on the same page. The worst thing you can to do is move in on someone who isn’t feeling you the same way or have them move in quickly on you when you are just looking for nothing more than just a friend. Be clear.
3. Check for Consistency. Don’t accept excuses. No if’s, and’s or buts! Remember that actions speak louder than words and you want this potential boo to prove that that they are interested in you. They should call when they say they will call. Show up when they say they will. And keep up with you. A text-versation or a call a few times a week or whatever is most acceptable to you doesn’t hurt anyone. It just helps build consistency, which in turn builds trust.
4. Don’t Rush! It can be really exciting to meet someone who you think could be a great new friend or more, but be sure to allow time to figure/feel some things out. And if someone appears to be distant, remember that you never know what someone may be going through. There could be a busy project at work that keeps them from being able to set a lot of time aside for you or some internal or family issues that he or she may be trying to get through before introducing a new potential love into the picture, but don’t be fool! If its been 6 months and you’re still trying to “figure it out” you may need to just cut your losses and move on. Something else may be going on…
5. Remember: Don’t waste your time or accept less than you’re worth. If this new potential boo isn’t treating you well or isn’t trying to make something work, this may be a sign that he or she is not interested or into you as much as you are into them. There are too many fish in the sea to waste your time so cut your losses if necessary and move on to the next potential one!
Do you have any additional tips that you would like to share? Have any of these helped you in your pursuit of love? Let me know!