3 Lessons You Need to Learn About Self-Love

February is traditionally considered the month that we celebrate love and here at Humble Sunshine, we’ll be doing that very thing. However, I want to take it a step further and rather than simply focusing on romantic love, I want to also focus on people I love and respect, things I love, sharing love to others and one of the most important ones to me, self-love.

If you haven’t learned by now, self-love is essential.

To my surprise, in thinking of self-love, one of the first things that come to mind is how we treat others. I strongly believe that the way we treat other people is a clear reflection of how we treat ourselves and we are, more times than not, hardest on ourselves.

I can recall times where I’ve had a full days of work to do and I’ve completed a bulk of it, yet I would continue to push myself to do more than what is reasonably possible despite the loss of sleep or peace of mind. It is a quick route to exhaustion, but I had to learn how to do better.

In retrospect, do you ever find yourself judging other people and criticizing them for their choices? Are you the type of person who has a lengthy opinion and judgement of others? This may be because you are just as hard on yourself and it’s the only way you know to be because you’ve conditioned yourself to be this way.

We also often get caught up in fixing (needing to fix ourselves AND other people). The reality is, we don’t always love other people for who they are. We are often subconsciously loving them for who we think they can be or who we imagine them to be.

The same often applies to ourselves because choosing to love ourselves for who we are (the good, bad and ugly) seems too often to be a challenge as we compare our own success and possibilities to others. The simple truth is, when we learn to be patient, empathic and compassionate towards ourselves first, we can then allow ourselves to be more open to being patient, empathetic and compassionate towards others.

In my experience, I’ve found that when we can’t accept the flaws in other people, it’s typically because we can’t accept the flaws in ourselves. It’s a deep thought, but hear me out and check out these 3 Lessons You Need to Learn About Self-Love:

• Love is an Inside Job |

If you’re anything like me, from time to time, you may get carried away with being extremely hard on yourself to ensure that you work as hard as possible to be perfect and succeed in your career and relationships. Sometimes we can do that so intensely that we get stuck in unhealthy habits and mindsets. When we start to evaluate our actions towards ourselves we’ll often find that we’re not loving ourselves as much as we think we are. If you start from within and do the work that is necessary, you can be sure to find relief.

• You Must Practice Self-Compassion |

When you genuinely show more love to yourself, self compassion naturally comes into play. How do you practice self-compassion? 

Self compassion requires being kind to yourself, being aware that you’re not alone (in your challenges, mistakes, loss or other hardships), and being mindful, which occurs when you allow yourself to experience and observe life without being judgmental or suppressing your thoughts or feelings.

• You Must Accept Your Story |

“Loving ourselves through the process of owning our own story is the bravest thing we’ll ever do” ~ Brene Brown

Where you came from, things you’ve come through, the happy time, and painful times are all things that have molded you into who you are today.

It may not always be a simple task to own up to your truths, but it is absolutely necessary. When we avoid parts of our pasts, it’s almost like you are rejecting the very parts of your life that taught you particular lessons to get you to where you are. Whether you’ve been abused, been an abuser (physically or mentally), have overcome or are overcoming bad habits, it is absolutely unhealthy to dismiss the uncomfortable truths.

Accepting your story will allow you to connect with others and become the authentic person that you always ways dreamt of being.

Do you practice self-love in the best way possible? Do you struggle to learn any of these three lessons? Share your story with me! It’s never too late to learn something new and apply it to living a happier, more peaceful and fulfilling life.

~Be Humble. Be Motivated. Be Inspired.~

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